Motherhood can feel so isolating. I imagine parenthood as a whole can feel that way, but while my identity seems like it’s been reduced to “mother,” my husband is a musician, a clinician, a gamer, a friend, a coworker, and a father. He can take time to himself with the relative ease that comes with knowing our baby will still be taken care of if he does. As well-intentioned as it is, offers from friends and family to watch the baby aren’t very helpful; they get to spend time with her while she is in a good mood, and then have to hand her back when she isn’t.
Still, I reflect on the past year and feel gratitude for how much lonelier I could have been. I moved to Chico with my husband a little over a year ago. He is an Oroville native, and is surrounded by friends and family. When I joined him, I was working from home, and my friends were his friends. Before moving, I made most of my friends at the schools where I worked; now, doing teletherapy, I was lucky to get any adult interaction outside of a computer. It wasn’t until 6 months later that I found the light at the end of the tunnel.
One of my husband’s coworkers, and now one of my closest friends, hosted a work Christmas party at her beautiful home. I was about four months pregnant at the time. Another coworker mentioned a group called the Chico Mothers Club that his wife was a part of. They had received a meal train organized by the group after the delivery of their oldest. He raved about the club and what a great resource it was, especially in the early days of new parenthood. I had seen the group on Facebook before, but wasn’t sure that it was for people who didn’t yet have children. After talking with him, I signed up right then and there.
My horizons instantly broadened after being accepted to the mothers club in January. Although I didn’t have a child to bring to events, I was able to participate in Moms’ Night Out and book club events where I met other moms in the group. By the time we delivered our baby, I felt so full of love and appreciation for the women I had met. During a time when I often felt anxious about people asking to come over to see the baby, not me, seeing the sign-ups for our meal train quickly fill up along with comments like “I love Maggie!” was amazing.
As I write this, our now five-month-old is attending a CMC event with grandma. Heather Keller graciously sharing her time to give the families of kiddos under two a “Wiggle & Wonder” taster session. We have been to two others, and they are a sensory wonderland where little ones can explore a range of visuals, sounds, and textures. Along with the events hosted by the mothers club, the friendships I have made through the club have led to buddies to come with us to non-club events, movie dates, birthday lunches, a pet sitter, and a standing offer for eggs.
This year marks the 30th anniversary of Chico Mothers Club, and with it, 30 years of sisterhood in the midst of motherhood. The club is celebrating 30 years of a group of mothers who have been where you are and can answer your questions and validate your feelings, and 30 years of passing on all the baby items you could possibly need. We welcome new members every month, but I still encounter moms who aren’t sure what the club is for, or have joined and aren’t sure how to get started. If you are one of those moms, this is for you.
- “I work during the day; are there any events in the evenings or on weekends?”
Yes! Just looking at the events that have been scheduled for this month, we have three evening/late-afternoon events for moms, and two weekend events for kiddos. Some of the play groups, based on the year your child was born, are held on weekends as well. And, as I mentioned before, even if there isn’t an official event on the calendar, you can always find someone to do something with or volunteer to host your own event!
- “I don’t know anyone. Do I just show up?”
Yes! That’s exactly what I did, and now I recognize at least a couple faces at most family-friendly activities we attend. Putting yourself out there and meeting new people can be super intimidating, but remember that you have the perfect built in excuse: a child! Feeling anxious? “Gotta get home for dinner time!” Bored? “Looks like we’re ready for a nap!” If, for whatever reason, an event doesn’t feel like your jam, you have plenty of acceptable reasons to head out early.
- “I don’t have any kids yet. Can I still participate?”
Yes! If you are pregnant, you can join! You can still come to the MNO events, From Bun to One at the library, and be a part of the Facebook group where you can connect with other moms. This is a perfect time to join, when you can sign up for the meal train and see if anyone is giving away baby and postpartum supplies on the buy/sell/trade page. I was picking up clothes for our baby while I was in early labor, but maybe don’t use me as an example.
If you have any children who are 5 years old and younger, including those not yet born, the Chico Mothers Club is for you. Membership for the fiscal year ending in May is $40 if you join this month, or $30 if you join starting in October, but the club is a priceless resource. Membership dues go towards the clubs annual budget which allows them to put on all of the monthly events, a few club wide parties each year, new mom gifts, member appreciation, and so much more. Spoiler alert for new moms: I received a CMC branded Klean Kanteen, a gift card to my favorite coffee shop, and a certificate for a free babywearing fit check with an Enloe nurse when I had my baby! It was such a nice surprise, and I use my water bottle all the time to keep hydrated while nursing.
Joining the Chico Mothers Club was the best thing I did for myself as I started my journey into motherhood. The next New Member Playdate is scheduled for October 24th from 3:30-5:30PM at TJ Farms Pumpkin Patch. It’s a great opportunity to meet other members of the club, snap some fall pictures of your family, and grab a drink from The Sippy Hippie! I hope to see you at a future event!
